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I like turtles

A Dance With Dragons (A Song of Ice and Fire, #5) - George R.R. Martin This was a tough one for me. I LOVE this series, and I'm as invested as anyone in some of the characters (and not so much in others), and I understand the need to tell everyone's stories, but, but...WHAT HAPPENED? Did anything actually, you know, happen? Apart from the knives at the end, of course, and dude, will I be pissed off if this goes the way it looks to be going.

The good:
Tyrion's journey is amazing. The people he meets, the relationships he forms, his resourcefulness, his uncanny ability to get out of tight spots - his chapters are engaging, and funny, and exciting.

The bad:
Tyrion's journey is looooooooooong. Poor dude never gets anyplace.

The good:
Oh hey, Arya! Aryaaaaaaaa!!!!---

The bad:
Oh. You're gone.

The good:
Dragons! Dany, your dragons are all grown up, look, look!!!---

The bad:
Oh dear, you're too busy being mother to a nation that doesn't want you. And now your dragons are well angry. Oops.

The good:
Man, half the world's on the way to Mereen, this is going to be interesting--wait.

The bad:
Well, that was a bit disappointing. So much potential, so little conflict. Pity.

The excellent:
JON SNOW FOR PRESIDENT. Mance Raider for Foreign Secretary. Everything that happened at the Wall was mindblowingly awesome. Awesome. Except the last bit, which we will not talk about, because SURELY NOT, GRRM. Surely not.

The really bad:
Everything that happens at Winterfell is nasty and horrible and full of gratuitous violence and angry-making. I just wanted it to stop.

The disappointing:
Cersei. I think we all wanted her to get her comeuppance, and a humbling, but what happened was unsatisfying, in my opinion.

The exciting:
Another heir to the thrown. In Westeros. Ready to kick butt. Yeah, baby!

Most surprising character:
Melisandre. I totally changed my opinion (and expectations) of her. Go go, fire lady!

Most surprisingly boring character:
Bran. *yaaaawn* Bring on the Others. BRING 'EM.

Most fleeting character:
Arya. I wanted so much more.

Verdict:
I won't hesitate a second to get the next one. But something better happen.